20181128



[begin transmission]

Originally I was going to share this with a new friend of mine, a well read Englishman.
But when taken in the context of our correspondence, it seemed derivative and too lengthy.
So I'll spare him the terrible fate of hearing me prattle on about my unconstrained musings.
That being said, I still hope he manages to read this!

We have a fair amount to cover here, but I think you'd take interest in a discussion on something I've very recently picked up on, given how you have an appreciation for the creation of ideas and their historical/philosophical context. I've been reading up on the structuralism, as it pertains to philosophy. Initially structuralism was founded in a linguistic context with the advent of a field called semiotics, pioneered by the linguist de Saussure. 

Semiotics is essentially the study of signs; to explain via example, the word 'android' (written or spoken, or even an illustration of an android) is a signifier of the mental conception of an android, the signified. An actual android that you can take on missions and have fight for you is called the referent. An observation that de Saussure had was that there is no good, logical connection between the signifier 'android' and it's actual referent. There's nothing inherent to a cute, white-haired, blindfolded, synthetic shota that would suggest that it should be signified by the arbitrary letter combination of a-n-d-r-o-i-d. It's still not clear how languages are created and developed because of this fact, but it does seem that it takes a consensus among people to settle on a particular word to be the signifier of something. Part of that consensus includes agreeing that 'android' doesn't refer to an automobile, a dog, water, or anything else. Actually, if you think about any given word, you can sort of define it entirely via exclusion. 'Android' means an actual android because it doesn't mean anything else. I wanted to mention this because it comes into play later.

Another idea of de Saussure is that language only conveys meaning by following specific rules when arranging words together into sentences; as you might have guessed, these are the rules of grammar and syntax. This is, as far as I can tell, the basic idea of structuralism and things get REALLY interesting when you apply this idea to, well, ideas. Take any idea from history, any idea at all. For example let us consider the simple case of the intercontinental ballistic missile. You cannot conceive of the idea of an ICBM if the idea of missiles didn't precede it. You cannot conceive of the idea of missiles if the idea of rocketry didn't precede it. You cannot conceive of rocketry if a theory of combustion didn't precede it, etc. In short, ideas only make sense if you have the prerequisite ideas in place, in the proper order. In our example of the ICBM it seems kind of obvious, especially since we're both scientifically inclined individuals and it's relatively easy to note the iterative progression of scientific endeavor. But in less obvious cases? Western democracy is a great example of this. Most people wouldn't think it (partially because, as you mentioned, most aren't as well-read), but Western democracy is predicated upon Judeo-Christian values: namely that which posits that each and every individual is a sovereign entity in his or her own right. This idea, before Judaism and Christianity, was largely reserved for kings and rulers. Western democracy, as we know it, wouldn't have made much sense if the Judeo-Christian tradition had not come before it. 

You must forgive me if it seems as if I'm skipping about, but I swear, it serves a purpose. Okay, so structuralism was originally developed in a linguistic context. Words (i.e. signs composed of a signifier/signified) are arranged into sentences which convey meaning. Sentences are, in turn, arranged into paragraphs and paragraphs could be arranged to form stories and narratives. Naturally, structuralism crept it's way into literature. To be honest, I'm not too interested in structuralism and how it applies to a literary context, as it seems fairly intuitive and straight-forward to me. But what really caught my attention while I was reading about this was the intellectual movement that took hold in France during the 1960s in response to structuralism: post-structuralism. It's also referred to post-modernism, if I'm not mistaken. This is where I reach the limits of my knowledge, as I'm still investigating post-modernist philosophy, but from what I've read and heard so far, it has some fairly heavy critiques towards structuralism; some of them involving the ideas I've presented to you before. Take the idea that there is no logical connection between the referent and a word, that words only take on meaning based off of this exclusionary principle. The post-modernist critique is that these words truly have no meaning since, functionally, there are an infinite amount of things that this word doesn't refer to. You can never really get to the bottom of it. Because words do not carry any meaning, sentences cannot carry meaning, paragraphs cannot carry meaning, and ultimately, narratives cannot carry meaning. The entire structure falls apart because the basic unit for meaning is meaningless. I really wish I were more keen on literary analysis, so that I could analyze some familiar literary work through this post-modern lens to see if I can gain a new appreciation for it, but that's a passing fascination. What seems of more importance to me is how this post-modernist critique applies to a philosophical/historical context. The examples I mentioned before, about ICBMs and Western democracy, those ideas and their constituent ideas are basically technological and socio-philosophical narratives respectively. What are the implications of this post-modernist critique when applied here?

That was fairly long-winded and could be a bit of a derivative to our present discussion, but I got a tiny bit excited and would really like to know your thoughts on that final question.

[end transmission]

20181126



[begin transmission]

I had the intuition that I was never going to cleanly get away with this.
'I'm not that arrogant, and I'm certainly not stupid.'
Recently, I've come to doubt that thought of mine.
Maybe I really am too arrogant. Maybe I really am stupid. Worse still, maybe I'm both.

Either way, I've been had. And by the most unexpected of adversaries.
This reckoning was neither precipitated by spiteful former comrades nor capable, malignant rival.
The culprit was much more effective, much more sublime, and oh so much sweeter.
And it really is the more nefarious of poisons, the one that is palatable, that encourages to drink from it in hurried gulps.

To counterbalance the sweetness from becoming cloying, this undoing includes a finishing note of exceptional bitterness.
This assailant was a mere accomplice. Myself, all past sins inclusive, were the masterminds orchestrating this operation.
It's left me wondering. Have I finally earned my spot in the pantheon among Faust and Tamburlaine?
What good is anticipation and estimation if none of it serves to ready for the actual impact?

Do I live out what I actually believe in?

From this last sentiment, I collect some measure of resolve.
I've made my choices, committed to the actions, and now I must suffer the consequences. The edict of Galatians 6:7.
There simply is no way around it. I have to be okay with the outcome, whatever it may be.
Evidently, I need to learn this hard lesson yet again. And I will be taken to task until it finally sticks.

My only wish is that all this did not occur with you.
If only we had met later, when I would have been better equipped and more capable. Perhaps wiser.
Painfully, I've thought about how many secrets I've indulged in you, in an effort to bring us closer together.
The more you got to know me, taken in conjunction with what the others knew, the more you feared.

It really is despicable where this thought of mine leads.
It makes me regret ever revealing anything to you. It suggests I should've continued to obfuscate the truth.
But I cannot stand it, the notion that I should leave you in the dark. You don't deserve that.
And, simply put, I fancied you enough to chance vulnerability.

To the tail of the comet,
I bid my farewell
It will return to the end of the dream
While I will be left behind here

[end transmission]

20181115



[begin transmission]

...
I'm in trouble.

[end transmission]

20181111



[begin transmission]

It's all set in motion now. No turning back.

[end transmission]

20181106




[begin transmission]

To all YoRHa units currently active on the battlefield.

[00:00 - 00:26]

Intently focus on the task before you. Nothing else is to exist beyond those clearly defined parameters.
The subtle sixteenth notes provide an unconscious impetus to push forward.
Accents on the even beats enumerate the explicit objectives as they are recounted in mind.
Periodically, an electronic stab cuts the steady progression, serving as a reminder of the severe nature of your mission.

[00:26 - 00:54]

An incoming reverse cymbal rush demarcates the transition into the next phase of your attention cycle.
Hyper-focus sets in. Flow state established. There is no room for deviation or distraction at this point.
The mantras chanted in an alien tongue demand just that. There can be no faltering.
To make a mistake in such unfamiliarity and uncertainty could prove, would prove, fatal.

[00:54 - 01:21]

Heavy percussion punctuates the ethereal, alluring chimes of exotic charms.
As if to shake you from losing sight of the objective, but almost too disruptive in their own right.
The point-of-no-return has long since passed. When did that occur? The thought is immediately displaced from mind.
For another percussive barrage accompanied by authoritative strings demands absolute diligence.

[01:21 - 01:45]

What is it exactly that lies ahead?
A horn, severe in tonality warns of imminent cataclysm, somewhere off in the distance.
Meanwhile the difficulty and the chanting is unrelenting, unwavering, infiltrating the conscience.
12H, 11B, 7E, 1D... comrades that did not survive. 
Competent, admirable individuals that met their abrupt, unceremonious end.

[01:45 - 02:15]

Trepidation firmly sets in, coinciding with the crescendo of vocalizations and orchestra.
This is real. This is danger. This is all happening to me. I am fighting a losing battle.
The fear becomes as dizzying as the bows dancing across the strings.
A grand realization of possible, almost certain failure fills your heart heavy with apprehension.

[02:15 - 02:41]

Brief respite amidst the torrent. A soft, lullaby-like piano ostinato offers comfort through concerned tones.
Within their meager consolation you attempt to recompose yourself, reassuring yourself that you will prevail.
Thoughts made subordinate to the devastation that asserts itself before you, as it's powerful second crescendo takes hold.
...4B down.

[02:41 - 02:54]

Companionship proved to be the last bastion against complete and utter despair.
The strings speak for your soul and lend voice to the terrible doubt and lamentations locked inside.
Can I really see this mission through? Am I really capable enough? Are my efforts in vain?
Is the end to all of this anywhere in sight? How much longer must I keep fighting this pointless battle?

[02:54 - 03:01]

Through abject suffering and attrition, a short-lived glimmer of a beautiful thought.
Per angusta ad augusta. Through difficulty to honor.
Amor fati. Love for one's fate. Your tragic disposition will see you through.
Quiet restraint and poise can see you through any outcome, perhaps even bring about grace.

[03:01 - 03:08]

But what makes you so sure that you and your best efforts are deserving of grace?
The misgiving creeps into your mind, underscored by the organ playing in a villainous key.
Strings weep gently for you, as if to bemoan this tragic realization on your behalf.
Afterall, the splendor and elegance of butterflies protect it not from spider webs.

[03:08 - 03:41]

A singular, foolish doll. Adversarial elements too crushing and too plenty to overcome.
Resigned to fate, well-practiced in the act, you mechanically push forward.
It is the only thing you can do. The only thing you know how to do.
Live. Fight. Suffer. Die. The infernal da capo offers not pity nor quiet as it demands repetition once more.

[end transmission]

20181102




[begin transmission]

Grievance Studies Hoax

Microaggressions? Stereotype threat? IAT? Some people accept these concepts in earnest.
It reminds me of how readily and unquestionably Alice2 and Kermit embraced the following credo:
"The study of victimology seeks to mitigate the perception of victims as responsible."
Interesting times we live in, where scholarship and investigation are mixed up with ideology.

At the very least it's much easier now than ever just who is thinking critically and who is possessed.

[end transmission]