20171114


Shower upon him every earthly blessing, drown him in a sea of happiness, so that nothing but bubbles of bliss can be seen on the surface; give him economic prosperity, such that he should have nothing else do but sleep, eat cakes, and busy himself with the continuation of his species, and even then out of sheer ingratitude, sheer spite, man would play you some nasty trick. 
He would even risk his cakes and would deliberately desire the most fatal rubbish, the most uneconomical absurdity, simply to introduce into all this positive good sense his fatal fantastic element. 
 It is just his fantastic dreams, his vulgar folly that he will desire to retain, simply in order to prove to himself- as thought that were so necessary - that men still are men and not the keys of a piano, which the laws of nature threaten to control so completely that soon one will be able to desire nothing buy by the calendar. 
 And that is not all; even if man really were nothing but a piano-key, even if this were proved to him by natural science and mathematics, even then he would not become reasonable, but would purposely do something perverse out of simple ingratitude, simply to gain his point.
And if he does not find means he will contrive destruction and chaos, will contrive sufferings of all sorts, only to gain his point! 
He will  launch a curse upon the world, and as only man can curse (it is his privilege, the primary distinction between him and other animals), may be by his curse alone he will attain his object - that is, convince himself that he is a man and not a piano-key!
If you say that all this, too, can be calculated and tabulated, chaos and darkness and curses, so that the mere possibility of calculating it all beforehand would stop it all, and reason would reassert itself, then man would purposely go mad in order to be rid of reason and gain his point! 
 I believe in it, I answer for it, for the whole work of man really seems to consist in nothing but proving to himself every minute that he is a man and not a piano-key!
It may be at the cost of his skin, it may be by cannibalism!
 And this being so, can one help being tempted to rejoice that it has not yet come off, and that desire still depends on something we don't know?
You will scream at me (that is, if you condescend to do so) that no one is touching my free will, that all they are concerned with is that my will should of itself, of its own free will, coincide with my own normal interests, with the laws of nature and arithmetic.
Good Heavens, gentlemen, what sort of free will is left when we come to tabulation and arithmetic, when it will all be a case of twice two make four?
Twice two makes four without my will. As if free will meant that!
 Fyodor Dostoevsky. Notes from Underground. 1864.

20171112



In short, one may say anything about the history of the world - anything that might enter the most disordered imagination. The only thing one can't say is that it's rational. The very word sticks in one's throat.
And, indeed, this is the odd thing that is continually happening: there art continually turning up in life moral and rational persons, sages, and lovers of humanity who make it their object to live all their lives as morally and rationally as possible, to be, so to speak, a light to their neighbours simply in order to show them that it is possible to live morally and rationally in this world.
And yet we all know that those very people sooner or later have been false to themselves, playing some queer trick, often a most unseemly one.
Now I ask you: what can be expected of man since he is a being endowed with such strange qualities?
Fyodor Dostoevsky. Notes from Underground. 1864.

20171110



Will you be my light?
Will you be my strength?
Promise you won't let me go.

20171101



Good morning me, did you sleep well?
Did you wake up feeling good?
Do the light and the wind and the smell and the sounds all seem like they're brand new and fresh this morning?
Is each and every cell in your whole body awake and alive now?

Today you are who you are today, see?

You're still me, but you're a newer version: myself ten years from now..
That's so far away it's almost impossible to imagine.
Am I alone, or is there wonderful person next to me?
Well, knowing me, I'm sure you're causing all kinds of trouble for lots of different people..
I'm sorry I don't mean to, but it's all right.
That's part of life too isn't it?
You're not perfect but you've got a lot to give.

So remember: I'll always be cheering you on.

In your time I'm no longer here, but I am here today, and I'll always be cheering for you, right here. Cheering for you: my only self.

20171031





Dear 2B I adore you. It's the most simple, honest, plain truth I can offer at the moment. You give me strength to be kind to others. To afford them patience when my reserves are utterly empty. More importantly, you give me strength care for myself. You make me want to be something, you make me want to try. To have a future. This letter is far too effusive for something so public but I am not ashamed of my appreciation. Thank you, 2B, for every moment you have ever afforded me. And know that I wouldn't be quite the person I am today without you. Happy Android Appreciation Day.

20171025


All the unhappiness of men arises from one single fact: they cannot stay quietly in their own chamber. 
Blaise Pascal. Pensées. 1670